Happiness Archives - Barbara Byrge

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15 Apr

Things You Didn’t Know About Me

Here are some things about me you might not know about me.

Positivity is my thing. I believe in the power of love and the brain’s ability to find what it seeks, so I believe if you actively look for opportunity, love luck and light and you will find it! I had some powerfully negative experiences lead me to this path, and I studied a book called ‘The Happiness Advantage’ to learn the deatilas on how positivity leads to succes!

I am the last of 5 siblings. My eldest brother is 11 years older than me.

I am the first in my family to attend and graduate from college. I graduated class of ’00 from UCSB with a BA in Psychology and Arnold Schwarzenegger signed my diploma (he was governator at the time).

My father worked in Liberia West Africa for more than 4 decades, I have a Liberian step mother named Martha.

I visited Liberia in 2005 and was one of the few American women in country. Children would run alongside my Dad’s truck to get a glimpse of me. There is a video shop in Neezoe named ‘Bobra Video Shop’ which they named after me, for some reason. I think I was supposed to send videos. I will be sending educational videos, perhaps a little late for the success of Bobra Video Shop.

I used to work in Media Services, and can connect and troubleshoot all kinds of TVs, VCRS, and well as computers and peripheral devices.

I was employed as a Barista during college at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, and I make a mean latte. I prefer Americano’s myself, all the freshness of espresso at the strength level I’m accustomed to in brewed coffee. Cream no sugar, please.

I succeed at the task at hand, and often go above and beyond. While in school I maintained nearly all As even through college (chemistry and geometery were my achilles heels). When I lead the backpack donations project, I doubled the donations from previous years. When I volunteered for the Professional Women’s Association at UCSB, I eventually became president.

I worked at UCSB for 13 years in IT as a technical support guru. For the last 10 years I worked at the college of engineering supporting Macs and PCs in a Linux based server environment. I am very skilled at troubleshooting desktop hardware and software issues. I did not care much for writing code.

I worked as a Technical Account manager for a software company that manages creates a real estate accounting software product for both residential and commercial and real estate and leared a lot about accounting, leasing, and troublshooting their software! I worked on the eLearning team and wrote classes to help train others.

I tell jokes. I’d have to get to know you probably to tell you the best ones because they are racy. Nothing mean, but sometimes scandalous in nature. These jokes come from a lifetime of Dad jokes and puns that permanently clog up my brain.

I have done some fun volunteer projects over the years. I collected money to buy ‘sweet cases’ for foster kids who are displaced through a charity called ‘Together We Rise’ and donated these cases to a local foster care agency for kids to use. I went to the Transition House in Santa Barbara and brought materials for the kids to do a craft and boxes of costumes so they could pick out Halloween costumes. I have photographed events like Earth Day, and been present during people’s final family vacations and gifted them portraits through the Dream Foundation. I dontated my time to co-chairing conference committees, and thusly planned and executed a several hundred attendee conference on women’s issues.

I have taken photos of people since I was 16 years old. I used to carry a film camera in my purse everywhere I went in high school and it was Chris Gutierrez who first dubbed me ‘Barbarazzi’ for always taking photos. I am a born nostalgic, and sap and photos are all about emotion and memories for me. No matter what else I do in life I will always take photographs. I see the world in still images.

Yo hablo español! My espanol no es perfecto pero, yo se dos cientos palabras y yo quiero usarlo! ja ja!

By Barbara Byrge Happiness Musings
14 Feb

Valentines Day means Love for ALL!

I wrote this note on Valentines Day way back when in an essay style ala the popular school assignment ‘what blah blah blah means to me.’ Its funny to think about how different I was then, 15 or so years ago. I was single at the time, and I wrote this after researching the holiday online and trying to debunk the legitimacy of it all together. So I can’t be accused of being to smug and in love as I am now when writing this. My writing style has evolved a bit since then, but I fought my temptations to rewrite it and just let it fly in all its sophmoric glory. Its the sentiment that counts, I think that’s still spot on. In fact last night at dinner I told Arion this story of St. Valentine, the guy who cared about love in other people’s lives. The story really does resonate with me, and every Valentine’s Day since I try to promote love in everyone’s lives in tiny chocolate ways! And so many of us do don’t we? We get cards and gifts for our Mom’s, our sisters, our friends, grand children, children and their teachers. Its just another day to show love with sweet treats and to that I say a delicious emphatic yes. In my case that will mean spending 2 days making homemade treats to avoid allergens, but I enjoy cooking and sharing love via chocolate so…. (while I’m a bit on the bah humbug side of the Christmas-o-meter), to Valentines Day I say BRING THE LOVE! And by love I mean chocolate ;0)

What Valentine’s Day Means to Me

by Barbara Byrge

For many of us Valentines Day represents a day of expected pleasantries, red and pink flowers, chocolates, and tiny candy hearts that say ‘be mine’. Some call it the worst of the ‘Hallmark holidays’ sensationalized by corporate America in a frenzy to sell greeting cards, teddy bears, lingerie and for the lucky, maybe a Mercedes or a trip to Spain. We take great pride in knowing the historical basis and traditions of our holidays like Christmas, Chanukah, Easter, Independence day, and so many others, yet the story of Valentines day goes untold year after year. The reason for this is simple; the legend is about rebellion, unsanctioned love, and martyrdom. The story of the beheading of St. Valentine is not one you teach to 2^nd grade kids. My teachers always left that out, but I somehow knew that making that construction paper mail box was really, really important and if I didn’t I’d be left out of something really special. I realize now I was left out of something special, the true story behind the day.

Most believe that the holiday as we know it is a celebration of the life of service of St. Valentine. There are 3 St. Valentines commonly revered throughout history, but the one that’s most interesting lived in 270 AD in Rome. He lived under the reign of evil King Cladius II who involved his country in many bloody campaigns. Soon, he did not find many willing men to sign up for his army, so he outlawed marriage in hopes that single men would be more likely to enlist. Legend has it that St. Valentine believed in love so deeply that he continued to marry couples in secret. He was eventually caught and ordered to be executed. He spent a good spell in jail, during which time lovers whom he’d married would leave flowers, poems, and gifts outside his prison window to thank him, and to testify to their belief in love. The guard was so enchanted with St. Valentine’s love of love, he even let his own daughter keep company with him in his cell during his last days. He left her a note on the morning of his execution marked ‘love your valentine’ which is a metaphor often used, but little understood.

Even before St. Valentine was beheaded, the Romans celebrated the feast of Juno on February 14^th each year. She was known as the queen of the gods and goddesses and also the goddess of women, marriage. Pagans observed that birds picked their mates around mid-February, and started their courting rituals around the same time. When people say ‘love is in the air’ they are talking about the magic of spring. This phenomenon of animal lust, pair bonding and general altruisim are best defined by what the rabbit ‘thumper’ in Bambi. When Bambi asks what’s wrong with the birds cooing and circling each other, thumper happily explains ‘they are twitter-pated.’ He couldn’t explain it in words, but the magic of spring infects even the most unsuspecting beasts! Perhaps that was Claudius’ reason for choosing such an important day to have St. Valentine killed. Perhaps he intended to send a message to the world that love was not going to be tolerated. Claudius’ murder of St. Valentine did send a message about love to the world. A message that has carried on for thousands of years: Love will live forever in our bleeding hearts, and always serve to remind us that money, power and status are not the most important things in life. Some people are willing to sacrifice their life for love. Not just for love in their own lives, but to see the cause of love promoted to the highest degree possible. That’s what Valentines Day means to me!

Reference:

Here is a link from History.com that tells this story.

By Barbara Byrge Happiness Musings Uncategorized
07 Feb

Straddling Two Worlds

I often find myself on the dividing lines between worlds. When I was in Jr high I came to California from Arizona, and the fashion demands on teens in my new home were like entering into a new culture. I had lived on Cottonwood Arizona with my Mom, and every kid in my class dressed in clothes from Wal-Mart down the street. It was a new Walmart, by far the biggest store in town, very exciting stuff in Cottonwood circa 1992. I don’t even think there were any other children’s clothing stores, and it was pre internet. There was one kid who’s parents ordered her clothes from the Guess catalog. She was pretty fancy, and we all knew it, but she rubbed elbows with all the regular Wal-Mart kids, lest she be completely alone in her Guess jeans. It just wasn’t much of an issue.

One quick airplane ride to southern California, and a brand new junior high and I was thrust into 6^th grade hell. I was frequently harassed because my clothing had the wrong label on it: Lee instead of Levis. I had no idea I had done anything wrong, but the ‘pack of she wolves’ let me know. It tanked my self-esteem, and I found myself friendless at times.

So there I was, in my new home in California where I had moved in with my Dad, who I sort of met at age ten. I mean, I can’t remember the before age 5 years and he was in Liberia West Africa after that. He had spent the last decade or so trying to mine diamonds and in the process witnessing, and at times trying to ameliorate immeasurable amounts of human suffering. Children without food who wore the same Mickey Mouse shirt everyday (proudly) were a routine vision, and here I was asking him to care about Levis instead of Lee. My Dad chided me at my demands for $100 Levis (which in the 90s was ostentatious) he scolded me loudly insisting there were children in Liberia who got Polio because their parents couldn’t afford a $.25 vaccine, he told me how many families that would feed for a month there. Even as a selfish tween I couldn’t deny his words were correct. I have always at my core been a bleeding heart, and compassionate about people suffering. He was right, this branding seemed kind of stupid. I mean both were good durable pants. Did I really want to be friends with people who would judge me based on wealth? At age 12 you do. Thank God you outgrow that shit.

When I went to college I definitely felt I was straddling 2 worlds. I was a first generation college student, and had no idea what I was in for when I showed up at the dorms. My Mom was homeless, and my dorm room was my ‘home’ and I had all my things with me. There was no bedroom back somewhere for me to go chill and escape the drama of dorm life. Still I hit up my sister’s couch quite often. She was a single mom of 2 kids, living with Crohn’s disease (I hadn’t been diagnosed yet) and I was her person for a long time. I tended to her during hospital stays while I stayed at her place and cared for the kids through her surgeries, spent holidays there, then when she was better went back to college studying for midterms and keg parties. When I was at my sister’s apartment complex I was the stuck up college girl. When I was in college I was the poor kid from a broken home. In the 2 hours it takes to drive to my hometown from college, I became a whole other person, and vice versa. Each time.

Fast forward to 2019, I’m in the beauty industry as a pinup and glamour and wedding photographer. I suppose it was nearly dying a year and a half ago that got me thinking about what I really want my life’s legacy to be about. ART came to mind. Of course art. I have so many stories to tell both in writing and visually, these things are bursting out of me and I crave release. I think art, specifically photography, will always be part of my life. And that brings me to my love of pinup. I mean, the eye candy right?! The coifed hair, the makeup, the tattoos, the classic styling, I adore that look I truly do! I feel like a lucky photographer to be in pinup, I mean these girls spend all this time and money to get so damn gorgeous and then I get to photograph them? Someone pinch me please, this must be a dream! I have so many ideas for photo stories I want to tell, ways to take this thing to the next level, and always with people so why not go pinup for styling! Va va voom, right!? RIGHT!

Then I got what I will call a right hook to the face from the universe and it made me stop and think. I had to sit across the table from someone and listen to them tell me I’m not worth it, bash me to other clients, and go so far as to forbid ‘her pageant girls’ from booking with me. Her final email line was ‘good luck in your photography career’ and I watched opportunities dry up, whispers abound. People sent me screen caps and told me things. Whisk me right back to junior high why don’t you.

I did a little digging and found this behavior is RAMPANT in the pinup world, and there is a very well known beef between two of the biggest clothing designers in pinup, each who accuse the other of bullying. I think we are going to have a real life rockabilly rumble y’all! For those who read this who are not involved in the pinup world, here’s your cue to laugh. Anyone who is in the world knows exactly who I am talking about and will speak to the topic. HA!

Now this particular person who incited mobbing to the detriment of my business has WON the mother of all pinup popularity contests. She certainly wasn’t nice to me, but hey unlike high school, I can leave this microcosm in a heartbeat. I’ve made some amazing and genuine friends in that realm, and I will always style women in this beautiful way. And you can’t keep me from my rockabilly music and car shows. But the idea of a pinup girl beauty pageant, when you look at the big picture, has just really got me scratching me head right now….

So I get off Facebook groups arguing about which pinup designer bullied the other, then I check my email and get a message from Mr. Harmon, the pastor of my step Mother’s Church in Liberia. He is letting me know they have had to discontinue feeding the children weekly, and can only afford to do so once a month now. I know he is asking for money, without asking, like I have sent before. He just got back from the interior of Liberia, the place he goes to convince the tribes to accept Jesus and to end the practice of murdering young men to eat their hearts. Heart men they call them. They will find bodies with their organs harvested on a semi regular basis and they say ‘heart man come-o!’ I become sick, deny that its true, and shut my email.

I snap back to reality and have to decide whether to get my roots done, or send some money to Liberia so the kids can eat and the cannibals can learn about fellowship and how to not eat your fellow man. Straddling 2 worlds is an understatement. The fact that there is more pain and suffering in this world than I can heal with my personal resources is frustrating. So it’s easy to just turn the page, and go do some retail therapy, maybe grab that new eye shadow palate from Sephora.

I watched my step Mother walk this line for many years. She did like to spend money on herself, but she gave more away. For every nice purse she owned, I knew she’d donated as much to her church. She found a way to split it so she could have nice things and give lots too and I admire her for finding her balance in that way. She married the white man (my Dad) and got all the relative wealth (rich white man can’t afford Levis?), but its hard to enjoy that fortune while everyone around you is starving. Well, its hard if you’re Martha and from a communal culture like Liberia anyway. I don’t think its hard for the average American. I can turn it off if I choose to, go back to laundry and dishes and forget about the heart man. I have that luxury and that hot running water. The incongruity and cognitive dissonance is impossible, but we can try. Like my Liberian Ma Martha I strive to find my balance living in this first world with all its microcosms of excess, peering into other worlds where people are just trying to survive. For me that balance is opening a charitable corporation: Hearts of a Feather! Hearts of a Feather Help Together! We can’t solve the worlds problems, but together we can help!’

My concept is simple: Take excess wealth and distribute it to the poor! Like Robin Hood, only legal and fair. My goal is to open a thrift store and accept donations of things people no longer want, and turn them into resources for those in need. This concept is not new, there are several corporations operating under this MO in town, and I believe there is enough excess that we have room for another! In addition to selling the goods locally, we will ship things to our friends in Liberia. Again, sending container loads of clothing and goods to a 3^rd world country and paying for the freight with capital generated from sales of other goods is absolutely not a new model , but its sexy and I want to start there. I have huge dreams for this corporation, but that is the starting point.

I think that is a good way for me to straddle 2 worlds. I see the consumption and excess in so many worlds, not just pinup. Whether its ‘fast fashion’, Cosplay, fancy food sculptures, a handbag that costs a week’s wages, or what not, the ways the first world uses its resources while our planet is dying and people are starving kinda sucks. I want to keep my creature comforts running water, eating out, electric toothbrush luxurious life, but I also want to do something to help. When I do make it back to deaths’ door, I want to know my life meant something. Somehow just consuming things and making pretty art doesn’t seem like enough anymore. I know that it will be hard, but that’s no excuse for not trying. My advice to anyone feeling conflicted about wanting to consume stuff but not impact the planet is two fold: buy used, and buy half! Instead of buying 2 lipsticks buy 1 and donate $20 to the charity you like best, or go buy someone who is hungry a meal. I promise you can get by on one new toy, and the joy you get from helping others will be greater than you having those shoes in every color!

Wish me luck y’all! And from now on a portion of every pinup photoshoot will be donated for meals for the children of Liberia West Africa! So hey, book me and I’ll get to art and to give, my 2 current fav things, straddling all my worlds.

By Barbara Byrge Happiness The B Sides Uncategorized
28 Dec

Cake: 8 ingredients or 80? Support your local Bakery!

In the quest to avoid soy, (which gives me sudden violent diarhea) I’ve had to give up almost all store bought baked goods. Damn that soy lechtitin, soy flour and soy oil. Last week I ate a pastry with all 3, the trifecta of death, and I didn’t make it halfway through the thing before I was rushing to the bathroom. When I saw the half eaten danish sitting on the counter after the hell bowel that ensued, I actually considered finishing it. I love danish that much. Would the same food bother me without soy? Could I eat a danish and finish it without running to the toilet? Can I find a healthier for ME pastry? That’s when I discovered the answer: my local bakery!

Pastry is not a health food, lets be clear on that. Most people agree that donuts are the dietary devil, and while the sugar and fat bomb inherent in a donut is less than ideal dietarily speaking, not all sweets are made equal. In particular I’m talking about the length of the ingredient list. If you ask your local friendly bakery they will tell you what ingredients are in their food (if they won’t, don’t eat there). The one I consulted had no problem opening their books and showing me the things they use in their food, things like flour, sugar, eggs, butter, yeast, baking soda, vanilla, that sort of thing. The kinds of things you’d expect. I toured their whole book and found the average ingredient list to be about 5-15 ingredients. Sadly some things did have soy in one form or another, but you know what they didn’t have: monosodium glutamate, mono and diglycerides, and a multitude of other many long named chemicals that I can’t begin to know.

I walked across the parking lot to Costco to get a cheap cake for my son’s birthday party. The cult of the inexpensive called me like a siren. I braved costco, went to the cake department to make the big choice: chocolate or vanilla. That’s when I saw the ingredient list and recoiled in horror. It had something like 80 things on it, many of the things were questionable in terms of their edibility. Weird stuff to make it colorful and shelf stable longer. They probably add something to give the buttercream that crisp texture that burns your mouth. No wonder I feel sick after eating that garbage. My jaw dropped and I left in horror. You could not pay me to feed that to my kid anymore. Now that I know. (uhg).

So I dragged my butt back across the parking lot and paid nearly twice as much for nearly half as much cake,and was never happier to do so. We make cupcakes at home (with short ingredient lists) and fed those to the kids whose pallets are not so discerning, while the adults indulged in the whipped cream iced, raspberry filled gorgeous vanilla cake made of a handful of simple ingredients. The adults all felt indulged, and why shouldn’t we, we were braving an 8 year old’s birthday party.

So great, I’m ruined for Costco cakes for life. Next time you’re in there, take a gander at the ingredient list. If you have the patience to read the entire thing out loud, go ahead and buy that cake. But if just reading the label exhausts you, imagine how exhausting it is to digest that shit. For me anyway.

By Barbara Byrge Food Happiness
15 Dec
Vintage For Christmas – The Case for Buying Used
Dear Family and Friends,

I won’t be giving any new gifts this year. Which is weird to some. There is an unspoken taboo that you can’t give a gift that is used. The thought that you grabbed something off your shelf, slapped a bow on it and gave it as a gift is so offensive, the presents have to be new in package, just to prove you didn’t do that. People even buy Tiffany boxes empty for top dollar, just for the illusion that the jewelry being gifted is new. But you know what is more offensive than getting a used gift? The thought of loved ones going into debt to buy gifts for me, or the expectation that I do the same. Lets give the planet, our wallets, and our expectations and break and just not do the thing where we go out and drop 3-4 figures at the shopping mall.

I’ve given up completely on giving NEW gifts and here’s my top 5 reasons why:

Eco Friendly! Buying used means you aren’t creating a demand for new goods to be manufactured. Less consumption is a great thing!

Unique! Some things you just can’t buy new. So that vintage aloha shirt or dress from 1960 is certainly used, but you can’t buy one new if you wanted to. No one else at the Tiki bar will have the same shirt as you!

Thoughtful! If you’re buying vintage and used things, you have to try a little harder. You can’t just grab some soap baskets on deep discount and decide later who is the stinkiest of all. You have to think about what that person might like out of the limited stock you will run into. You may even have to stalk their social media for ideas.

Economical! If I buy used gifts, I can average about $10 per gift instead of $50+. If I have ten people to shop for, I’ve already saved $400. Time is money, and I certainly don’t want my loved ones slaving away for hours to buy me a gift. I bet yours don’t either.

High End! That’s right, if you accept gently used gifts, you may find yourself in a sweet pair of lulu lemon leggings or Ralph Lauren (new old stock) sheets! I can’t afford designer brands off the shelf, but sometimes I run into a dazzling deal on my treasure hunts! If you can get over the fact that its gently used, you maybe be getting a Hermes Paris scarf!

Now, all things considered vintage gifts can suck just as hard as new gifts. My advice is to not expect anything from your Christmas gifts. If you really want something, go buy it. Save up for it. Don’t put pressure on your loved ones to fulfill your Christmas destiny, and don’t feel like you hvae to fulfill theirs. Just keep it simple, inexpensive and thoughtful and your gift, new or used, will be from the heart and that’s what its all about afterall.
By Barbara Byrge Happiness
02 May

This is my post

I want to write things on my post!

By Barbara Byrge Happiness
26 Jan

A Little Naiveté

I once asked someone who had accomplished a great thing ‘what advice would you give to someone who wants do what you’ve done, what do you think they’ll need?’ and her answer was ‘A little naivete! If I had known from the beginning how hard it was going to be, I never would have done it.’

At the time I was a mid-twenties career broad type. I had a degree, worked in technology, and was president of the Professional Women’s Association and I was quite frankly shocked. Was she really preaching ignorance as a good thing? How would I even take that advice. ‘Just start’ she said. Well, fast forward to late thirties Barbara, and I really get what she meant. I mean deep down in my soul do I resonate with the idea that you do not need to know how tough your row is going to be to start hoeing. There have been so many dreams I stopped dreaming because they just weren’t practical, and I finally listened to what everyone said.

‘I want to climb Mount Everest!’ someone shouts.

And we all say ‘What? It is too hard, too cold, and you could die!’

Why? Those things are all true, sure. It is hard cold, and you could die! Why do we instinctively caution others and dissuade them from risk and poor decisions? Close relationships ok, it affects us directly, but we do this with even strangers, coworkers and conversations on public message boards and in many cases where it really wouldn’t affect us at all. What’s with the Hermoinie complex? Is it a know-it-all thing, or maybe a hero thing ( ‘They were going to die, but my words of caution saved them!’)? Perhaps it is because we see ourselves as being good mentors, so we must ment!? Is it because we think they don’t know the risks, or won’t find out? I mean, we live in the google age, my assumption is that people do not need me as a reference guide. Why do we assume our fear is appropriate and something we should convince others of? Perhaps we need to flip that record, and automatically think of all the ways their risky plan COULD succeed. All the lucky and wonderful things that may come as a result!

I like to think it is because we have so much love and empathy for these strangers, that if they hurt, we suffer along with them. So many of us do this, me included, but I’m changing that! We just have to let our lovies mess up sometimes! I’m not going to let you walk off the deep end, but if you jump in the freezing cold pool, maybe, just maybe it is not MY job to tell you you are going to get sick, catch a cold, and die. Maybe if I jump in, and make that bad decision, you could just find me a towel since you know so much about how cold I’ll be. Don’t bubble wrap me from the suffering, just help me band aid up afterward. I’ll make some mistakes, but some things have to be learned the hard way. In Liberia they say ‘if you can’t hear, you can feel!’

So if I, or your kid, or someone you know starts on an big challenging task, like climbing a huge mountain, or going back to school, or getting pregnant at 40, or walking the journey of a million miles, or opening a special school for children who learn differently, don’t hit them with the knee jerk ‘you’re feet will get tired’ and ‘there’s too much paperwork.’ Lets make a conscious choice to encourage our people, even though we know their path will have struggles. Because believe me, they know they will have struggles. Of course there are loads of cases where its appropriate to caution our loved ones. We do it daily, and its correct much of the time. I’m just suggesting that there are times when giving a long list of reasons why things won’t work out, or listing every potiential pitfall along the road, is not the best idea, and asking us all to think about what my wise friend Janet told me about accomplishing great things. That when you begin, you should do so with a little naiveté!

By Barbara Byrge Cultivating Calm Happiness Health
21 Jan

Words Rock! Rock the Words!

Writing things on rocks, or artwork, or anything at all is a very powerful neurolinguistic device! It keeps the word and concept booted up somewhere in your brain. Writing words like ‘luck’ on a rock is a great idea, because we seek what we find, and I believe if you look for good luck you find it! It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Its fun to try this out on your kids too. But that’s another blog post.

This post is a vignette about my former white board and what it taught me about words you see in writing staying in your brain forever. Visual memory + written word = powerful brain candy.

‘There is a snapware thief…

in the building…

somewhere’

I worked at a place where we all had whiteboard inside our cubicles fashioned so everyone walking by could see. The above is the phrase my coworker had written on her board for months. You can’t look at a word without reading it, so I read them. And I processed them, four or five times a day, everyday when I’d walk past her cubicle to get to mine. ‘There is a snapware theif… in the buidling.. somewhere’ One night I was sitting on my couch and found myself muttering ‘there is a snapware thief… in the building… somwhere’ (I always paused at the ellipses while mentally reading it). What was happening to me? I didn’t want to pay attention to this, but there it was, clogging up my brainspace. And so I got pissed that her word worm had permanently crept into my brain!

Everytime I walked by it I felt bad. I felt bad for her dishes, and bad that i had to suffer along with her, even though the dish incident actually occurred before I was employed there. So I finally confronted her. ‘Shirley! Why don’t you write something new on your board!’ and a spirited convo ensued about how she was still genuinely upset, many moons later, about how someone had stolen her dishes. I learned a few things from this conversation. 1) snapware is tupperware, its expensive and those who love it can’t do without it 2) some people can hold a grudge a really long time 3) getting her to erase this was not going to be a one conversation thing.

So I decided to control what I could, which is what was written on my own board. My cubicle was on the way to the bathroom so I felt it was a community service to gift my coworkers with some awesome ear worms. So I would write things like ‘Smiles inc’ and guess what, people would smile at me! One day I wrote ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy!’ which is of course also a catchy song lyric. I noticed things. Fun coworkers would sing or whistle when they walked by. The old guy who talked your ear off would be on the topic of happiness (rather than who left dishes in the sink, etc). On bad days I’d write lyrics that seemed upbeat but were actually secret cries for help. This also amused me and helped me get out of a fun. One day I wrote ‘I was looking for a job, and then I found a job!’ which is another song lyric (Morrissey, yay!) which follows with ‘and heaven knows I’m miserable now.’ This is kind of an inside joke with me and a friend, about how some people just can’t be happy in any circumstance! It was a reminder to myself that I’d really wanted this job, so don’t be a downer. It also just made me happy to be salty for a minute. Most people thought I was happily working that day, and I totally found two new tribe member coworkers when they gave me the wink and the nod as they passed by. I handed out candy too. Highly recommended activity for keeping happy at work. Or anywhere really. Just hand out candy like a mom with a purse.

Finally Shirley asked me what was up with my board, and all the daily whitticism. I told her the truth about her snapware earworm, and to be honest it is still permanently etched into my brain. Hence this article. I offered to buy her a complete new set of snapware if she erased it. She finally had mercy on my mortal soul and erased her board! I quit that job some months later, and don’t have a white board anymore. So now I write things on rocks.

I have rocks all over the porch and garden that say ‘well calm’ to remind me that we heal when calm, and to not get too fight or flighty. Its also a pun for ‘welcome’ and I find brain teasers like this get stuck in my head even more! They are shiny and fascinating and whimsical. Some of my favorites are ‘Zen and Zeal, Lovey Lucky, and Do You.’ Others are thoughtfully artsy, like ‘Crave Brave’ and ‘Health Wealth’, with health over the wealth, which of course lends itself to metaphor. I paint these rocks bright happy colors and gift them to friends. Sometimes I let them choose what they want to attract into their lives, other times I will have made one especially for them, to attract what I think they would enjoy.

One of my all time favorites is ‘will work 4 love’. When we love others, we do WORK for them, its the ultimate love letter! Perhaps we go to work and get money to house them, perhaps we clean and cook for them, or drive them around, wipe their chin when they have mustard, but most people do the work they do for the ones they love, without people to love and work for life is empty. I think all of our labor should be ‘labors of love’ working to strengthen who and what we do like in this world. And with that I sign off to grab a paint brush for my new rock ‘Labor for Love’

So go write some stuff down in an artsy visual way, place it around where you are everyday, and the seeds for your new brain candy will be planted! You will scan the universe fulfiling the prophecies you declare! So go ahead, conjure up some joy, some art, some work, whatever floats your boat! Find a thought that mkes you smile, write it on some rocks, and enjoy the yummy thoughts!

By Barbara Byrge Brain Power Cultivating Calm Happiness Health
08 Jan

Happiness Books and Gurus

Here are a list of books I enjoyed on my journey to happiness and health. I will continue to add to my list as I read more awesome information. I draw on the ideas in these books for my writing, talks, and life philosophy. They presented me with a new way of thinking, and I love these authors for that! (These are all genuine endorsements, no one paid me to post this content or anything in it).

The Art of Happiness – by the Dahli Llama and Cutler

By reading this book I learned that happiness is our true state, and we all deserve to be happy.

The Happiness Advantage – Shawn Achor

In this book I looked at the scientific data that backs Achor’s claim that you don’t ‘get successful, then get happy’ but its the other way around! Happy people tend to be succcessfull! The exact how is laid out in this book along with strategies for behavior modification.

Mind Over Medicine – Lissa Rankin

In this book Dr. Rankin explores the unexplainable miracles she noted and read about while practicing as a western physician. She explores the placebo effect and thusly suggests the mind effects the body in real and powerful ways.

There is Nothing Wrong With You: Going Beyond Self Hate – Cheri Huber

This book is a light read, with large whimsical fonts and just sets you in a good mood. The argument she makes is that you are perfect and wonderful and you must unlearn decades of teaching that tells us otherwise.

In addition to reading the above, I have also followed several gurus on facebook and get a daily mantra from them. Their words are very important to me and represent a constant stream of empowering, uplifting, delightful self love messages that remind me hourly that I’m amazing, grateful and lucky! Like their social media fan pages and be prepared to life changing positvity delivered to your door!

Zig Ziglar

Louise Hay

Tosha Silver

Martha Beck

Lissa Rankin

By Barbara Byrge Happiness

© Copyright BarbaraByrge 2018